Angry Girl, Hidden Naruto
by Tama Saga
Summary: It began when Naruto needed a place to hide from the angry mob. He found one, but SHE found him. It was the first time they would meet, and it wouldn't be the last. Fate is so MEAN! Warnings: UFO's, Cows. Completed.
1. Hidden Naruto

Hehehe, I've been transferred to the unreality division manager of Stories w/ ThInk. Well yes I'm the only member, but I've proven to myself that I can do it! Anyway, I don't own Pani Poni Dash! nor do I own Naruto. I am merely borrowing the characters from each series for an amusing short story.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 1: Hidden Naruto

-o-o-o-o-o-

"They'll never find me in here," a small boy with blond hair and whiskers on his cheeks quietly said as he forced his way in.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A soda machine sat in the middle of Konoha. Despite this nice location, and the presence of a well-known convenience store nearby, this machine wasn't used often. Not only that, no one entered the convenience store because of a rumor that the cashier had agreed to take the demon boy's change, ONCE. This rumor put the convenience store right out of business.

But that isn't important. On this day, a blond boy stepped up to a vending machine and stood on the tips of his toes to place a few coins in.

He pushed a button.

After a moment, he pushed the same button again.

Seconds later, he was pushing every single button several times before he punched the front of the machine.

"The crummy machine ate my money!" he angrily shouted before he walked over to the side and kicked it several times.

"Hey hey!" a passing police-nin shouted.

"Crap!" The kid shouted as he ran off with the police-nin in pursuit.

After a few moments of silence.

**Kachunk.**

A soda can fell out.

-o-o-(Some time later)-o-o-

**Plink.**   
A coin was inserted into the machine...

**Kachunk!**  
...and a soda can fell right out the slot...

**Pssh...  
**...the soda can was efficiently opened...

**Glug glug...  
**...and chugged down...

**Pffffft**   
...except whoever was drinking from the can wasn't happy.

What the hell!" demanded a blond haired girl with her hair done up in twin pony tails.

"I come back after a long day of teaching. I wish for something nice and cool to drink. And this is what I get? What the hell is wrong with the soda machines these days." she angrily shouted as she gave the free-standing machine an swift kick.

The soda machine wobbled precariously for a moment before it stabilized and its front opened.

Hidden within was a small child with whisker marks on his cheeks. He was crouched at the bottom of the machine with a bunch of soda cans clutched in his arms.

The blond girl had a surprised look on her face as she stared down at the...6-year-old?

"Uhh...hi?" Naruto greeted. "Want another?" he asked as he took a can from his arms and held it up.

Instead of saying anything, she looked upwards before calmly reaching for one of the chilled cans. Pulling it out, and seeing that it was comfortably cool, she took the edge of the front display and slammed it shut on the blond boy's face.

She stalked off.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto crept out moments later to search for a different hiding spot.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Pani Poni Dash was the inspiration for this scene.


	2. RamenEating Naruto

I don't own Pani Poni Dash! nor do I own Naruto. I am merely borrowing the characters from each series for an amusing short story. It's great how the chapters are all done already. I'm going to post them throughout the day when I get the time. Busy busy...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 2: Ramen-Eating Naruto

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto shouted as he split the chopsticks and raised the bowl of ramen to his face.

Teuchi nodded in approval when Naruto started slurping his noodle extremely loudly.

Some time later, the lighting within the ramen stand changed as someone pulled aside one of the white cloth curtains to step in.

Naruto lowered his bowl for a moment to see who had just entered. It was the girl that had found him hiding in the soda machine a week ago. Disinterested, he returned to his meal.

"Smells good," the blond girl said as she looked at the menu.

After a moment of silence, she finally spoke up. "I'll have the chicken ramen please."

"Coming right up!" Teuchi cheerfully said.

In moments, the blond girl's order was steaming hot and ready to eat. It must have taken a lot of willpower for the girl to wait that long, a faint spot of drool could be seen trailing down from the corner of her mouth.

Picking up a pair of wooden chopsticks, she broke them apart and happily said, "time to eat!" before she dove right in.

She had just taken a slurp when her eyes widened in surprise. She turned and sprayed the broth upon an unprepared whisker-scarred boy.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted angrily as he disgustedly wiped himself off with an offered napkin.

Teuchi and Ayame had a frown on their face.

The blond girl wasn't listening. Instead, she was staring intently at the ramen bowl. "W-What the hell is this?!"

"Ramen." The other three said or shouted.

A tic mark appeared on the blond girl's forehead. "Get your tastebuds checked! It doesn't taste a thing like ramen!"

Teuchi's face turned red. "This is ramen young miss," he defended.

The blond girl shook her head. "I've been eating ramen for the past few weeks now! I should know what it tastes like." she angrily retorted. "And this isn't it!"

A confused look appeared on the old man's face. Ayame and Naruto sported equally confused looks. If she knew what ramen tasted like, why couldn't she tell that this was indeed ramen?

The blond girl continued her rant, "I've been watching how you worked. I didn't even see you add hot water."

A light bulb appeared in Naruto's head. However, he had to ask one question to make sure. "Whatcha talkin about?"

"I'm surrounded by morons," The blond girl sighed before she looked up with a glint in her eyes. "Okay, I can see that you haven't had ramen before so I'm going to explain it to you in simple terms. First you go to the supermarket near the weapon's district. Then you look for these bowls in the third aisle starting from the right." she chopped the air three times to emphasize her point before cupping her hands in a crude imitation of a bowl.

Taking one of her cupped hands and drawing a line across an imaginary lid, she said, "They will be labeled ramen on the top. Remember, ramen. You take it to the front counter to pay for it and once you take it home, you boil water, remove the shrink wrap, pull off the lid-"

It was obvious now.

"Y-You're comparing my masterpiece to instant ramen?! G-Get out!" Teuchi angrily shouted.

The blond girl blew a raspberry at the stand owner while giving him the finger with both hands. When the old man stomped forward threateningly, she recoiled slightly. Slapping down some ryo, she ran out.

A cold wind blew over her almost uneaten ramen bowl.

Ayame and Teuchi cleaned up the mess before the old man reluctantly picked up the ryo and counted it. "Hey wait. Get back here! This isn't enough!"

It was too late, the blond girl was long gone by now.

-o-o-o-o-o-

-.- Hahaha, uhh, the influence for this one came from Lucky Star. I was just rereading the first part of the manga where they were discussing food when this struck. That and the fact that I hadn't eaten lunch...

After a bit of research on wikipedia, I came up with this.

You know what the weird thing is? I don't think many have ever considered Naruto polite whenever he eats. Guess what! It's considered polite to slurp your ramen loudly in Japan. Look up "Cat's Tongue." In addition, drawing in cool air helps cool the piping hot soup down. Maybe Naruto takes it a bit too far...but...


	3. Sneaky Naruto

Third Chapter, 2 Chapters left. I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd include this on the title screen of the anime: "absolutely no Yaoi ever." At least then, the section wouldn't be filled with a multitude of half-baked NaruSasu stories. Hmm...I do own this chapter however...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 3: Sneaky Naruto

Absolutely no Yaoi ever.  
-o-o-o-o-o-

"Hey!" Naruto shouted as his wrist was grabbed and firmly held.

"He's trying to steal my fruits!" The fruit vendor shouted. The fact that they were standing in front of a toy stand on the other side of Konoha was completely lost on the old guy. In addition, Naruto's hands and pockets were obviously empty.

"What? Again? Doesn't the brat ever learn?" Someone nearby demanded. The stupidity was spreading...

"Get him!" A third person shouted, and soon an angry mobbed formed around Naruto as they cried angrily for justice.

However, Naruto was able to turn a little, and with a vicious kick, the fruit vendor was on the ground and curled up in pain. Without a strong man to hold him in place, Naruto was free to run for it. And he would be crazy if he decided to stick around when the killing intent in the air from 20 civilians slightly exceeded a genin's. Taking the time to step on the fruit vendor on his way out, Naruto ran into the only opening left by the crowd, a narrow alleyway.

Several minutes later, he finally appeared in a random part of Konoha. Panting heavily because he was out of breath, he noticed that there were no more shouts. Had he lost them? He turned back to look.

"Uff!"

**Impact! **

Off balance, he fell to the ground. His victim was also knocked to the ground as well.

"Watch where you're going you dweeb!" The girl angrily shouted from her spot on the ground before giving him the middle finger.

Naruto's horrified look quickly changed to one of anger! "You!" That evil blond girl from yesterday!

"Yeah?" the girl challengingly asked.

"Because of you, the old man had to close the stand for a day to search for you because you skipped out without paying enough!"

"Hmmph, giving me that fake stuff," the girl sniffed as she got to her feet. "I still think I gave too much."

Naruto started to stand as well. "It's not-"

"There he is!"

Naruto quickly turned. They had found him!

His feet moved automatically. It's too bad someone was in his way...

"Hey!"

**Crash!**

With a growl, the girl shoved the boy off of her before standing up and kicking him in the side once. She stomped off.

Meanwhile, the crowd was engaged in conversation.

"Did you see that? He was molesting that poor girl!" one of them shouted angrily.

"That rat bastard! He must die now!" another shouted.

"Wait wait, we have to approach this carefully. The Hokage will ask questions otherwise."

"What do you propose?"

"Well..."

Naruto silently crept away while they busily debated how to punish him.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Influence from Ai Kora, Love Hina, Ranma...wow, this is a ridiculously popular scene.

The big difference is that...the crowd also contained men. Not only that...Naruto is 6. The blond girl is 11. I don't want to know what's going through the mind of these citizens.


	4. Mischievous Naruto

Standard disclaimer? No way! I bring to you, the disclaimer in white:

-

-

And there you have it!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 4: Mischievous Naruto

-o-o-o-o-o-

**Clunk!**

The girl reached down and paused. Looking suspiciously at the soda can for a moment, she opened it and took a sip.

**Pffft!**

"Another soda machine with warm soda?!" she angrily shouted as she hurled the can away. It clipped a squirrel, knocking the small creature from a nearby tree.

Taking ahold of the side, she pulled the front panel open.

A whiskered boy was hiding inside again. Except this time he was vigorously shaking a can. Looking up at the girl with a determined glare, he aimed and pulled.

Pshhhhh. The cola burst from the can in a concentrated stream.

The blond girl had no time to dodge! Oh, this can't be good.

It hit!

The ground!!!

The two stared speechlessly as the fizzy reddish liquid coated the bottom of the soda machine before spilling over to the floor in front of the soda machine. The width of a ryo separated the edge of the sticky puddle from the tips of the girl's sandals.

"Uhh..." Naruto finally said as the stream of soda slowly died down.

Despite being perfectly dry, there was an unamused expression on the girl's face.

The neutral look remained as she reached up, and, with a plink, calmly pulled a soda can from the rack.

Opening the can, she tilted it over and poured the contents over the blond boy's head.

Naruto started screaming as he struggled to squirm away. It was cold!

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Can't think of the influence for this one. Maybe it wasn't an anime. Maybe it was something that happened to me a long time ago...pfft, hahahaha.

Jya'n!


	5. Final Naruto

Hahaha, it's been a busy day. Final chapter! Neither Shun nor I own Naruto or Pani Poni Dash.

I had Izumo1489 look over the chapter, but he was a bit less than helpful on this story. Except for the last part. In response, I told him that Sakura may be a cow in disguise.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 5: Final Naruto

-o-o-o-o-o-

After hauling the blond boy up and irritatedly asking him where his parents were, she was faced with a pitiful tale of him being an orphan yada yada.

And that was how Naruto came to live in Rebecca Miyamoto's house.

It was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

Empty tin cans, vegetables, raw eggs, rotten tomatoes, lawn chairs, bar stools, cows, sheeps, and UFOs flew around the kitchen as the two argued over whose fault it was that they were late. Not mentioned was that they were also fighting to see who was going to clean up this mess afterwards.

Despite the noise, the neighbors had stopped banging on the door long ago. They gave up after being coated with green slime and ham for the fourth time in three weeks.

On this day, Naruto was in a bad position on the battlefield.

Crouched behind the overturned kitchen table, he found that he was running out of things to throw. Edging out from the cover of the round table, he snatched a large radish that was lying on the ground. He hurled it back at the house's owner with really bad aim, incidentally striking a platypus in midair.

The odd mammal's course immediately changed from "not going to hit unless you stupidly jump into it" to "duck now if you want to live." Which he did. The platypus barely missed him before it smashed through a window behind him.

This was it, he was out of ammo except for...he turned stared at the bovine standing next to him. It returned his look with a blank stare of its own. He turned back and waited for Becky-chan's next move. It was tempting, but Becky-chan was using the refrigerator door for protection, and it had somehow stopped the other cows.

And then she stood up and shut the refrigerator door. He gave a loud cheer as he prepared to pull the lever and launch the mooing creature. And that's when he saw it. A food container! In her hands! His heart leapt to his throat as he slowly ducked down and covered his head.

Soon after, he was begging for mercy and forgiveness as a hail of green peas pelted his fortress.

The cow bunkered next to him mooed loudly before its tail whipped and struck an imaginary fly.

-o-o-o-o-o-

There was one good thing from living with Becky-chan though.

Without provocation, Naruto turned and casually flipped Sasuke the bird before he returned his attention to the blackboard. The entire class didn't notice, they were too busy laughing and turning their nose up at him. And then..except for the blond boy in front of the chalkboard, everyone turned white when a badly written correct answer boldly stood out at them.

However, the academy student in the front wasn't finished. He continued to write, and soon the class saw a ninja math problem that caused half of them to cover their eyes and shriek in horror.

Naruto took several minutes to think before he finally wrote down the answer to this new problem. He stood back with a satisfied grin. Becky-chan's brain teaser wasn't so bad after all.

"Noooooo!" Sakura suddenly screamed as she tossed a sheet of paper high into the air. Several angry lines on the sheet indicated that she had messed up somewhere.

The ease in which he solved it. She started to cry, she wasn't the smartest girl in the class anymore!

If it weren't for Inner Sakura pointing out that Naruto wasn't a girl. Outer Sakura would have quit the academy right then and there. Then Inner Sakura proceeded to suggest that Sasuke was as dumb as a brick compared to Naruto. Outer Sakura fully agreed, and she suddenly turned to stare at the blond in the front with hearts in her eyes. Finally! Someone she could have intelligent conversations with.

Man, some girls...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Umm, truthfully, this isn't quite Rebecca. It has potential to be since I haven't used anything that's really contrary to her nature. But I've ignored the class that she's teaching, and the only source material I used is the first episode of Pani Poni and ADV's website. I suppose some of the gaps were filled in using Hinako from Ranma ½.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Omake! Ichi!

C'mon! The entire story was an omake! Fine fine.

"So where did you guys come from?" Naruto asked the cows as they engaged in a friendly game of go fish.

"Moo moo moo!"

"Oh uh, sorry ladies." He sheepishly said as he pulled a card from a hoof. Looking at the new card, and the card in his hand, he immediately placed both on the table. "Looks like I win," he said with a grin.

"Mooooo!"

"I didn't cheat!" Naruto angrily defended.

In retrospect, he should have ran for it instead of defending himself, because he soon found himself tackled by several bovines.

Off to the side, a sheep snickered as it continued to tinker with the UFO.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Mm...Hinata? She didn't like how rude he had become...shrug.


End file.
